Thursday, November 24, 2016

Thankful



Even a decade after The Calamity, I still struggle.  But everyone struggles.  So many have it so much worse than I.  Maggie says that just because others have it worse, that my struggles are no less valid, but it just feels so… like I should be able to handle more.  

Most of the time I’m fine.  Great even.  But then the nightmares come back.  Then I can’t sleep.  My instincts rise and I can’t feel safe.  Will someone take me in the night?  Are the monsters coming?  Will my friends be safe?  Do they think I’m weak for my struggles?  Am I a burden?  Why do they stay when I’m like this? I don’t disserve it.

Maggie assures me that I do.  She’s always there, to hole me and assure me that she loves me, that my friends will always be there for me. 

And you know, I can’t be more thankful.



Hey, look, Eldritch content.  Managed to finally get comfy and finish the sketch for this while at my friend's house the other night, and managed to get it done today.  Happy Thanksgiving everyone.  Be thankful for the wonderful people in your lives.

Thursday, June 23, 2016

Eldritch: Epilogue




So.  This is Eldritch.

  I’ve been at this for years; I’ve spent innumerable of hours on it, producing hundreds of pages. And as comics go, it’s nothing special.  It’s no masterpiece.  It has huge flaws.  But it’s my baby.  Of course, this isn’t the end of what I’ve built here.  I will return to these characters, this world, and do more work based upon it, but it always had a planned end… and here we are.    This isn’t the last the world will see of Faith or Maggie or Mapleview; I hope to visit regularly.  I have so many ideas and plans that someday I hope to put into motion… Who knows? Maybe if I ever find myself financially comfortable, I can devote the time to comicing again and this will simply be just a new beginning.

You know… sometimes, I’ve regretted doing this.  I poured hours of work and research into the story and script and just cranking out the pages, while my friends were studying art techniques.  I fell behind.  I look back over the years and have to admit to myself… if instead of cranking out a page every week, I had studied, read up on composition, or what-have-you… I’d be a better artist.  I could have devoted myself to taking commissions and, even at minimum wage, if I had taken the same hours and applied them to commissions instead, I’d be thousands of dollars richer.  I produced a comic that people can read for free, and one that, after I fix it up, I hope to perhaps make some of my investment back from self-publishing. But that’s a big maybe.   I gave up sleep, recreation, and time with my friends and family just to produce this.  And yet, I have had people get upset at me because the comic wasn’t what they personally wanted to read.  By doing a comic, I opened myself up to insults, complaints, and problems that I’d never even anticipated.  Making Eldritch turned out to be a far scarier endeavor than I’d imagined, and sometimes, I wanted to quit altogether.

However, Eldritch also taught me a lot.  I learned about the process of making a comic, I learned about storytelling and art.  I learned about time management, about dedication and hard work.  I learned about sacrifice.  And I learned about people. 

While doing a comic did show me just how hurtful, selfish, and unthinking people can be… it also showed me how wonderful they can be too.  Not all of the tears I shed while making Eldritch were tears of anguish.  For every loud, demanding, hurtful thing said to me, there were a dozen kind, smiling messages of support, that sometimes, were hard to hear, but were there nonetheless.  At times I got notes or comments that were just so kind, so appreciative, that I couldn’t even think of a decent thing to say in return.  People from around the world have been kind enough to tell me how they enjoyed the comic, ranging from soldiers to students.  The kindness of people has ranged from lengthy letters from sick, bedridden readers who took the time they could muster  to tell me how it’s made their illness more tolerable, to people simply spreading the word about my comic, to others donating points, or even an entire year’s subscription.

But perhaps the best support was the kind, simple words of encouragement received from so many people over these past seven years.

So, to begin my acknowledgements, please allow me to say: To all my readers, and to all of my commenters, thank you.

Mom, Dad, and Sis… thanks for listening to me ramble about ideas and moan and complain when things were hard. None of you have read this, and I doubt you ever will, but Eldritch wouldn’t be here without you.

To the people of The Spirited Goat: Keep on caffeinating.  I’ll see you lovely bohemians soon.

To all of those in The Tribe, thank you for all of the distractions, the game nights, the new experiences, and especially thanks to Jesse and Mercy, for hiking miles and miles with me.

Wolfsjal and SageKorppi , what can I say?  We have never met in person and yet you two have had such incredible impacts on my work and my life.  This wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t have you two cheering me on.  You kept me company while I worked, you listened to me bemoan my research, and you stood by me when things were tough, in spite of your own busy lives.  You are my comrades, my confidants—you provided critiques, inspiration and support the whole way.  There is no way for me to properly express my gratitude, or return the favor.  I’m a better person thanks to you two—you’re better friends than I disserve.  Thank you so, so much. 

DarkIceWolf Dude, you’re the best.  Thank you so much for long conversations while I struggled to produce pages, struggled with loneliness, and worse.  Thanks for being a lighthouse in the dark.

ReKay Man, hon, thanks for being there, for comicing with me, with your water color stained fingers and my computer-strained eyes…. Thank you, for your continued companionship, for adding your own creativity and flair to my life, from the present, back to when we were sharing copics at The Table back at Building 13.  I owe ya, man.

shadechristiwolven , thank you so much, for everything.  If only I knew what an important part of my life you'd be when we first met!  You’re such an inspiration, have always been so supportive, and have been with me the whole way.  I pray to someday be as talented as you, and cannot thank you enough for the artjams, the adventures, and your friendship.  Ya mean the world to me.

And lastly, thank you, yes YOU for being here, for reading this, and coming on this adventure with me.

See you soon.

Eldritch: Calamity 036


Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Eldritch: Calamity 026 and 027

So... Eldritch is finished.  Has been for a little more than a week.

Like... I have all the files.  It's done.

Probably needs some editing.

But so long as life doesn't distract me or keep me away from the computer... I can update every week again.

Because it's done.

I've never been simultaneously so artistically relieved and so artistically bewildered in my life.